Grimm

I never sing twice for nothing. 

to addison

we're made up of 100 suns

from head to toe

bursting and dying

I wish I could take back
all the times I hurt you.

mental illness i will destroy you

question

If i accidentally dropped my heart on the floor
and it stained your carpet
would you help me out
if i mistakenly confused a pile of laundry
for flowers
would it upset you to know
i watered your boxers
if i gave birth to a litter of short haired terriers
would you raise them as your own
with me your one
and only? 

on this last day i offer the brain mash

today I want to eat as much food as possible and sit in the sun
it is raining outside
there was a chicken who got loose
i hope it's okay
if not at at least at peace
with the world in general because we all know
we've reached a tipping point
and folks and chickens got to be okay with that
from now on. 

mornings

Lately I've been waking up thinking about our San Francisco apartment. How, at 28 I had experienced for the briefest of moments what it meant to live like a grown-up. I'm so tired of living in transition. Tomorrow, I move into a new living situation  quite different from any that I've ever had.

Yesterday, I spent a few minutes browsing a co-parenting website. It's for people who want kids but don't have anybody to have them with.

I had a revelation at therapy recently. All the men in my life, past and present, have shaped my life to what it is now.  This made me cry.

New rules

I said I would write something here at least once a month. That worked for awhile and made sense at the time because I needed that sense of being committed to us- you. I don't need to do this anymore. It's time for a new structure and that new structure is no structure.  Ladies and gentlemen, introducing, no structure: an amorphous form of emotions and feelings.