Thursday, December 4, 2014


I'm sad and it's obvious. It's hard navigating an alternate life. This life exists because our plans derailed. You got hit by a car and died. With that went the clown show, the little theatre, our children, all of it. This alternate life has had its ups and downs. I'm thrilled about my new friend who is kind but also devastated by the sudden and cold distancing of another friend. I don't want to mourn the living. I don't understand how someone can just turn off like a switch. This makes me very sad indeed.
Also, I don't know what to do about us. Sometimes I feel like we've reached the point where you too have become a stranger to me. It's all a blur. What's the point in memory? It doesn't seem to work very well. It shifts, it changes things around, it's selective.